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Episodes
Tuesday Mar 19, 2019
Tuesday Mar 19, 2019
I'm back on the sobriety tip, waking up early as fuck and feeling amazing, and so to counterbalance that positive feeling, I spent four hours yesterday on Instagram stalking influencers and inviting them to my Comedy Festival show. It was brutal. The comments. The chatter. The endless parade of photos, so much light, so much space, so many fit girls' asses. It is honestly maddening.
Tuesday Mar 12, 2019
Tuesday Mar 12, 2019
Fuck I'm so tired. I saw the Gipsy Kings last night at WOMAD, and am currently sitting in Adelaide Airport waiting to get my flight back home to Melbourne. Today the podcast was interrupted by six airport announcements, and four instances of my USB mic unplugging from my laptop. I am not having a good time today.
Tuesday Mar 05, 2019
Tuesday Mar 05, 2019
I sold the other phone! EIGHT-HUNDRED AND EIGHTY DOLLARS YOU FUCKS!!! Suck shit to every cunt who offered me $700, suck shit to everyone who laughed at me and doubted me, and to everyone still trying to sell their second phone that they bought from JB HiFi on eBay, never give up. Dreams come true, you just need to trust in yourself and your vision. Block out the haters. TACO!!!
Tuesday Feb 26, 2019
Tuesday Feb 26, 2019
Wild times at the Adelaide Fringe Festival Club on Sunday night, not least of all because for once the Artist Bar at an Arts Festival is actually fun to hang out at. I'm trying to sell the second Google Pixel 3 I bought on an entrepreneurial whim at the start of the week, and it is not going well. Some cunt offered to trade me for an iPhone 8+!!? What a low-bag piece of shit, I'll kill him.
Tuesday Feb 19, 2019
Tuesday Feb 19, 2019
Kalgoorlie got better, but I'm still convinced that it is absolute trash. Melbourne is great, I'm back home until Thursday, but I hurt my groin playing indoor soccer. Luckily the pathetic vermin who write for the Australian tabloids are always here to take my mind off the pain.
Tuesday Feb 12, 2019
Tuesday Feb 12, 2019
I'm stuck in fucking Kalgoorlie. There's nothing going on here, and I've not seen anyone under 30 for the last 24 hours, but at least we got to look at a really big pit. Last weekend my crowd sang 'Silent Night' as the last audience members took their seats, it was really lovely. Perth Fringe was fucking fantastic.
Tuesday Feb 05, 2019
Tuesday Feb 05, 2019
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!! I'm a little drunk, it's been a great day - lunch, wine, beers, whiskey tour, denim jackets. I've gotten so tanned from being in Perth that on Sunday night some guy didn't believe that I was the person on my flyer. It was infuriating, I wish I'd told him to go fuck himself. Also some guy tried to pull some snake shit over Facebook. I'm 28 motherfuckers!
Tuesday Jan 29, 2019
Tuesday Jan 29, 2019
On Sunday night two girls stole my bag from where I was flyering for my show in Yagan Square, it had all of my notebooks, diary, wallet, jumper, phone charger and headphones in it. It also had my cards that I needed to do the show. The experience really fucked me up for a minute, if I'm honest, although I am feeling a bit better now, so it can't have been that bad. I have a lot of anger about it, and as much as I would like to, I don't forgive them, which is shitty, because I've done some pretty brutal stuff in my life too. Anyway, here's me talking about all that.
Tuesday Jan 22, 2019
Tuesday Jan 22, 2019
Perth is so beautiful, I'm staying in South Fremantle and have been swimming in the ocean every day since I got here - I think it's going to my head. I went off on some self-important tangent about how I should be entitled to a concession card because being an artist is the same as going university. Then I caught myself, and called myself an idiot. Pretty standard, really.
Tuesday Jan 15, 2019
Tuesday Jan 15, 2019
Last night we sat around a backyard fire drinking, listening to music, and eventually, sacrificing my t-shirt to the fire gods. I leave for Perth Fringe World tomorrow morning, and I couldn't be more excited!